6 Weeks

Reme Lynn,
It really is quite scary how quickly time is going by. I wish I could just stop the clock and have this moment last a lifetime but as the book "If I Could Keep You Little" says then I'd miss you growing up to be the person you are meant to be!
This week I had somewhat of an epiphany. I've been struggling with some things. First of all, most days you don't want me to put you down and to be totally honest, I don't want to put you down either but there is this little voice in the back of my head that says I should be doing something while you sleep. I should be doing laundry, cleaning, checking my emails, keeping caught up with work, writing thank you notes, organizing...the ridiculous list goes on so I feel "lazy" and "unproductive". Secondly, from the day we brought you home I have had this uneasy feeling of anxiety. It happens to me periodically when you cry your blood curdling cry when your diaper rash is bothering you or when I put you in your car seat or when you're just plain tired but refuse to sleep. It also happens when I want/need to take you somewhere. I become very protective so I over analyze the situation. What's the weather like, what type of mood are you in, how long will we be gone, when can we come back, what if this happens or what if that happens...and most times I talk myself out of going. "Oh it's raining, what if someone loses control of their car and hits us? What if she gets wet?!? (heaven forbid you get wet). Oh I don't want her in the car seat that long. Her bottom hurts her and I don't want her to have to sit on it. She didn't sleep well last night and needs to get some good rest." Again, the ridiculous list goes on. So then I feel trapped at home and I start to feel "lazy" and "unproductive" and I have had to cancel several plans and I feel like I'm disappointing people. You will soon discover that our family is surrounded by incredibly supportive and loving people. I confided in many of them. Your aunties Brooke, CC & Jaime all had wonderful words of encouragement and reminded me that the house work and the rest of it will always be here but this precious time with you will not and so the pet hair on the floor accumulates and fur balls hover in the air and emails remain unanswered and I'm okay with that! Then your father, who knows me best and has this special way of reaching me, was able to give me confidence. I don't know how he does it and I don't think he even knows how he does it or that he does it but he did. After we talked I felt like a knew mommy! Most importantly YOUR BADASS MOMMY. I am strong, I am capable and I know what is best for you and what you need. "I GOT THIS" So here we go kiddo! You and me baby! We're a team! We're a team of three to be precise and "WE got this!"

This past Sunday was your first Easter. We just took it easy and relaxed around the house. I made us a special dinner and we had such a wonderful day. God is good! All the time! Just look at you!

I L.O.V.E. this dress! It was given to you by your Uncle Ricky & his girlfriend Kathy. Her daughter made it! It is just precious!

We took you to see the Easter bunny on Saturday and you slept the entire time!

The Easter bunny was kind enough to come by the house and surprise you with a few things. First he gathered some of the gifts you have received from family and friends and a couple of new items as well! Mommy & Daddy will have to eat the candy for you this year!

The rest of the week we have been adventurous!

Monday, we went to see mommy's doctor for her six week check up (all is well by the way) and then we went to visit our friends at Whitehardt.

Tuesday we went to the mall all by ourselves!

 

You got some new hair bows and I got some new sunglasses!

 

Then for your "Six Week Birthday" celebration we went and had lunch with auntie Jaime!

 

We're getting the hang of it my sweet angel! Most of the time you seem to be enjoying yourself. Although you left me have it when you've had enough! You do have a good set of lungs on ya, that's for sure!

I'm still waiting for that special moment of a real smile! You've given me little ones here and there but not the real "reactionary" happy smile. I'm sure it will come any day now! I can't wait to hear your sweet giggle and to see that sweet face full of joy!

You have already outgrown the first outfit you ever wore! It was a gift from your daddy!

You have continued to be a good eater (and pooper). You're healthy and are gaining weight well! At your last doctor's appointment you weighed 9.7 pounds and on our home scale this week you weighed 10.5 pounds! I love it!

As a matter of fact this is my favorite "love handle"! Yummy!

I love you baby,
Your momma